挚爱的姐姐

姐姐，想告诉你，我真的很感激你。。。你在我笔记簿留下的字迹是我最珍惜的礼物。每一字每一句都深深烙在我心里。你是如此地关心我，把你最痛的经验毫无保留地与我分享，要我别犯同样的错。亲爱的姐姐，因为你的珍惜与信任，让我真的很感动。至少，你能让我在你最低落的时候陪在你身边。真的很爱你，就像亲姐妹一样，我好想好想保护你。看到你流泪，我的心真的好痛。看到你如此珍惜我买给你的上衣，更是甜进我的心里。我很担心你，我知道你经历一段非常不愉快的感情，我却无法贴切地安慰你，因为我的感情世界只有空白。我无法走进你心里，去感受那种痛。可是我却深深地感受到，看到你伤心难过又爱莫能助的痛。看着我们假期拍的照片，多想留住你那灿烂的笑容。。。你是多么地漂亮，迷人。忍心让你如斯难过的人，根本不值得你去留恋。你却告诉我，你不能习惯没有他的日子，无论是甜蜜还是痛苦的日子，都布满了他的足迹。。。可是，半夜里，当你在默默地流泪的当儿，他又在哪里呢？他可关心过你？或许，爱情和理智根本无法共存。所以，当你用理智去结束这一段感情时的痛苦我能理解。顿然，我领悟到，我的安慰是多余的，我的劝告，更是无法抹去你心中的痛。我只有，也只能安静地陪着你，一步一步地走出那段阴影。想告诉你，前十个月里，有他陪伴在你身边，累积的脚印，再深，都只有十个月。。。可是，我一直都默默地随你在后，只要你往后看，你的生活里，不是只有他的足迹，也布满了我们从小到大二十年的足迹，还有你生命里爱你的朋友和家人。每一个人，无时无刻都在你生命里留下爱的足迹。亲爱的姐姐，你并不孤单，你的生命是七彩的，你拥有的，是你无法估计的爱。任何时候，只要你需要，我都会在你身边。当你无助，迷茫的时候，转过身，算一算，你就会知道，他的足迹，在成千上万的足迹里，是如此的微不足道。。姐姐，我把我最真诚的祝福留给你，答应我，无论这一段路途有多漫长，让我陪你一起走，我们一起加油，一步一步地走向幸福之路。“人生最大的幸福并非是有一条平顺舒坦的路，而是在坎坷的路上得到别人的关心和照顾。最大的快乐不是没有眼泪的生活，而是有群为你擦眼泪的朋友。。。”永远爱你的妹妹上

check out the level of maturity my little sister has...touching letter on telling me that she is by my side through thick or thin..love ya:)

cancerous love

at first, all it had was a lump...so mild, so subtle that it was hardly noticed..everything else was so perfect that it wasn't an issue.

then it became a bigger lump that was unavoidable...

it started as an intial stage, turned into the final stage as months pass by

and before you know what hit u..you are at this point where everything started to become to severe just because i chose to ignore it in the first place

in this terminal stage of this tumour...it was full of pain, full of misery and full of suicidal thoughts and everything would have been so much easier if early treatment was given..

at last...even though u try your best to avoid it...and even if u think treatment would create miracles, it didnt anyways..

in the end..your mind chose to bail out on you and left your heart pumping..on life support..but was it worth it..when all there is, is a lifeless body attached to a machine..if there is no point of living, why hold on to it...

it has reached to this level..and u noe, no miracle would make this suferer alive and well again as before..its over..to make things easy,getting off the life support would be a good idea...if u wanna leave,leave with dignity and respect

but im still in the life support stage...contemplating if i should turn off the machine..wondering if turning off the machine would turn off everything else connected to it..

but i should know better..being in a life support machine, it takes up alot of energy,alot of resources wasted, and for what? just so that its consoling to know that it's alive?

i should know better that when the terminal stage was at its end i should have learnt to let it go...

*im sorry if this post offended anyone..the "it" was my L@#E..

rainy afternoon

its raining heavily nw and im in starbucks with my favourite vanilla latte(that's right, this is my fav nw) and the jazz music playing at the back ground is so delightful...

if there were no annoying little monsters around...today afternoon would be so pleasant..

lovely day to sit and read something nice n meaningful..bt i have to do asignments..speaking of which..need to get back to it nw..:(

carl and ellie

went to watch this movie last saturday...and it was indeed so touching...i want this..i want a "carl and ellie" in my life as well..i'll keep praying and hoping for it:)




love this...lying there with your soulmate..

a life together:)

a love like theirs is worth everything in this lifetime..something to die for,even...i want this...:)

emak garang

today is the first time in my 22 years i kena teruk from my mum...and although i was shocked...i laughed after,....my mum loves me so much la...*awwww*

i guess i don't have any self control and i always have lame excuses to back my actions. in the end i should wake up and realise that it really doesn matter anymore wheather i get a valid answer or wheather doing sth wud make me better..cz nothing can change the fact that it's done with,no turning back.

im glad my mum called n gave me a "wake up call"...made me realise my loved ones just cnt stand to watch me self destruct myself...and i shudn't also..i keep standing still in the same spot when 3 weeks has already pass by before i know it.

*smacking myself*...time to wake up...:)

Famous last words

gosh at this moment i feel so wonderful...its like a big stone is lifted from my heart

i don't want this feeling to fade...pls pls pls let me have this kind of feeling forever..

i m not afraid to keep on living,

i am not afraid to walk this world alone,

honey if stay u'll be forgiven,

nothing you can say can stop me going home

~famous last words...cheers!!!