day 1

confused....so many past memories came back again...its like my mind cannot differenciate between past and present...

its a different issue...because the present exist but the past..well..apart from reminiscing...u can only learnt from it and move on...that's what they say, but does everyone do so?


day 2

so far its been bearable...again, i love my final semester....so busy there is no time to breath let alone daydream.

Good.

24 hours is all i need now....im so proud of myself...self hypnosis really works, or rather...giving myself a tight schedule really worked.

let's be realistic.

earth does not meet Pandora here in reality.

reflection of the first week of the new semester

before i know it...one week has past by.

apart from the major pressure prof Sharan gave us by telling us our practical exam is a one time only chance.. and if u fail it u would have to extend....everything seems----hmmm..

first in my life i actually went broke....but i refuse to get money from my dad...i m responsible for over spending and i have to deal with the consequences.

i got my phone bill...pretty bad..let's just say my phone bill gave me a clearer view of things..that if i want to repeat the same mistake i did one year ago i can...only God n i know hw stupid i would be to do that.

here's the funny n painful part. i fell down in public in front of the hospital..on bended knees...haha..what's more some uncle laughed at me..grr...i stood up gracefully only to realise hw bad it hurt the next 2 days...walkin up n down the stairs with ultimate difficulty.

got sick and emo at the same time...sucks to hv fever and tears at the same hour...but water has cooling effect when it evaporates...maybe it was good for my fever.lol

put on extra 2 kgs in one month of holidays..but not to worry...i hv a feeling i wud loose it,again.

was told i m being very desperate...hmm...ouch..

and then i came back for christmas...which was the best thing ever....good thing christmas was this week:)

8 letters 3 words 1 meaning crap

u noe why some people dont say i love you easily? its not because they are waiting for a special moment...its just because they see it as a threat..

that's right...some jerks...some good for nothings would just take advantage of this 8 letters 3 words and one meaning crap...once they hear this from a girl...they know for sure that minimal gestures would secure this girl already...

and so...begans their joy ride and the girl's nightmare...

he calls...whenever he feels like it..and he replies, whenever he feels like it...and leaves the girl in constant puzzlement on what she did wrong or if he has someone new...

she calls, and it felt so pathetic, but she does it anyway...wondering...and telling herself this is the last time she does that...but it wont be...now that this guy knows she would call...there goes his ego rise...

and after 6 months...of still wondering...she finally gave up...and said she felt that this guy is taking her for a ride....

wonder what gave it away, genius.....

thinking about getting myself some nice sunflowers....wondering

what's your definition of love

read a very good blog yesterday and got me to thinking that we really, in fact, tell out the word love without giving much thoughts about what sort of contract we are commiting ourselves into...i for that matter don't know much about love and to me saying out the words i love you should be..impulsive...said at the moment u just wished that person would be yours and you just felt that you want to do everything within your power to make this person happy...but i was wrong.

dont get me wrong its not because i got my heart broken again hence this post, on the contrary, i actually have been having super happy feelings recently..haha

coupled with too much time in hand, i sat and thought about under what circumstances do you have, the right to tell a person i love you...here goes..

1) u are ready to be in a relationship with this person without thinking of the "what ifs"...like what if someone better comes along..nobody is perfect...but to the person u r saying i love you to...he/she is perfect.

2) you would go through thick and thin with this person regardless of whatever crisis he/she faces...eg: you do not dump a guy after he losses his job and all financial security....you motivate him to move on and tell him, that the reason he should be stronger is cz u r b his side. but then again one must be caution because some people are leeches and are more than happy if you are willing to bring the bacon home.but that aside...be there for this person and believe in them.

3) you have selfless love in you for this person.all you want is for this person to be happy, with or without you in his/her life.

4) you love every single thing in this person, from the way this person laughs, his slang, his hair, ths way he sounds in the morning after waking up ...even up to the way he gets angry and wiggles his way to get an apology frm u...u like and love evrything about him...and cant imagine a day without the presence of this person in your life..

5) that you know that this person isn't just to cure your lonely life or a replacement for a previous heartbreak...when you know that if this person choose not to be in your life you would not even think of being with another...because no one can replace him..

and so many more....
but then again different people have different perspective in love and that's fine. but if two people possibly thinking of getting into a relationship together have different definitions in love...can it work? im not talking about a fling here people...im talkin long term investment, i want to marry you n hv little babies, that sort of thing...

2 people with totally different personalities can make a relationship work due to the excitment of discovering each other...its refreshing and interesting...but different point of views in a relationship? how about that?