cancerous love

at first, all it had was a lump...so mild, so subtle that it was hardly noticed..everything else was so perfect that it wasn't an issue.

then it became a bigger lump that was unavoidable...

it started as an intial stage, turned into the final stage as months pass by

and before you know what hit u..you are at this point where everything started to become to severe just because i chose to ignore it in the first place

in this terminal stage of this tumour...it was full of pain, full of misery and full of suicidal thoughts and everything would have been so much easier if early treatment was given..

at last...even though u try your best to avoid it...and even if u think treatment would create miracles, it didnt anyways..

in the end..your mind chose to bail out on you and left your heart pumping..on life support..but was it worth it..when all there is, is a lifeless body attached to a machine..if there is no point of living, why hold on to it...

it has reached to this level..and u noe, no miracle would make this suferer alive and well again as before..its over..to make things easy,getting off the life support would be a good idea...if u wanna leave,leave with dignity and respect

but im still in the life support stage...contemplating if i should turn off the machine..wondering if turning off the machine would turn off everything else connected to it..

but i should know better..being in a life support machine, it takes up alot of energy,alot of resources wasted, and for what? just so that its consoling to know that it's alive?

i should know better that when the terminal stage was at its end i should have learnt to let it go...

*im sorry if this post offended anyone..the "it" was my L@#E..